Speaker 0 00:00:00 <silence> Speaker 1 00:00:04 Hello and welcome to a Wonder Care podcast. I'm Sheena Mitchell, pharmacist and mom of three. I combine healthcare and practical advice to support you on your parenting journey. Hello everyone. I am so glad to be back after, uh, season five, mid-season break. So the kids have all been back at school for a couple of weeks now. I hope they're all settling back in really, really well and that they like their new teachers and that they're glad to be back with their friends. A lot of children will struggle with this time, even if they love their teacher and they love all of their class and they have no problems in their normal school life. The change of routine can be quite uprooting for everyone. That includes the parents. One group who might be finding it extremely tricky are junior infants who obviously are facing the classroom for the first time. Speaker 1 00:00:54 And what I do want to highlight is that a lot of childhood anxiety is a very normal part of growing up. There's a lot of fears that are even developmental, so things like being scared of insects or the dark and all of these usually resolve with time. But certainly in my own house, I find any time that we have a dramatic change to routine, I get a whole different array of mixed feelings from my three kids who have very different personalities. And it can be useful to know signs of anxiety, which maybe aren't as obvious because some people will be better than others at maybe hiding nerves or fears, and others will be expressing it in a way which doesn't really reflect how they truly feel. So you might have a child who's being really difficult or being really tricky to manage at home, and you might think that they're being bold or naughty, but really it's just because of the anxiety and the stress that they're under. Speaker 1 00:01:54 They're reacting in this way. So I just wanted to cover some signs to look out there of anxiety because it's a good time of year to be aware so that you can have early conversations and encourage open chat with your kids and hopefully then if anything crops up during the year, they'll know that they're able to come and talk to you about any of their little worries. So I posted up on my social media during the week some signs of anxiety, and these are difficulty sleeping, being irritable or very clingy or teary, having some difficulty concentrating and worrying about simple day-to-day normal tasks. Some kids will have negative thoughts, and you'll hear this in their chat where they're talking themselves down a lot or worried excessively about small things. Some children may start to wet the bed or start having bad dreams and waking up during the night when they maybe don't. Speaker 1 00:02:46 Normally tantrums and meltdowns are a really obvious sign of an underlying concern that your child has. It can be easy to try and maybe discipline your child outta a meltdown or to become frustrated when their behavior spirals and you know you're out in a public place or even at home and they just won't stop fighting or tantruming. But it is a good little kind of, I'm gonna say amber flag for you to see what's actually going on in that child's head, headspace or mood that is resulting in the tantrum, because more often than not, it's nothing to do with, you know, not being able to have what they want or whatever trivial little thing triggered the tantrum in the first place. Other symptoms which can happen from anxiety and stress are headaches or stomach aches. And I know for the first week of school, I had one person who had a tummy ache every single day and there were tears. Speaker 1 00:03:41 And you know, it was difficult because you are trying to figure out is there actually something clinically wrong with your child or is it anxiety and worry? So the best way to address anxiety with kids is to talk and also to listen <laugh>. There's no point in you projecting all of your ideas of what's wrong with them onto them. It's really about getting to the root of what they think it's important to see and to understand that you're not gonna have a solution for every single problem, and that's just life. But acknowledging their problem or their feelings about an issue that they see in school is half the battle by validating their concern and recognizing it. It will make your child feel heard and valued, and hopefully you can find ways to support them or reassure them. For example, you might have a child who is upset because their teacher give out to them on the first day or during the first week, and they're now maybe afraid to go in or they feel hard done by. Speaker 1 00:04:44 And just maybe chatting about why that happened and talking about what they were doing when they were given out to and figuring out what caused the interaction in the first place can often lead you to an answer of, okay, well actually it sounds to me like maybe you were chatting to your friend while your teacher needed you to be quiet and to be using your listening ears or paying attention. And it's the teacher's job to make sure that the classroom is quiet so that everyone can hear and everyone can learn. And I suppose try and explain to the child that maybe in that particular situation, the teacher is not the problem and that the teacher's action was based on your child's action. And that if they maybe no longer chat during class when teachers asking them to be quiet, then they won't be given out to. Speaker 1 00:05:42 And that sounds really ridiculous and obvious, but actually when children aren't used to being in a classroom setting, of course they can be disruptive, they're excited to see their friends, they're chatting and they just struggle to settle down. And of course teachers need to kind of reprimand that behavior or just try and say, okay, settle down, pay attention, you know, and try and keep some sort of order and calm in the classroom. And I think often you'll find it's one little interaction that your child might have had that's causing a negative association, and they may actually really like their teacher. And once you explain it from the teacher's point of view, they may then understand that the behavior got the reaction and that it's, it's not a long-term problem and that it's not a problem between them and their teacher because kids can get really upset that, oh, the teacher doesn't like me or I don't like the teacher, whereas it's just really not personal <laugh>. Speaker 1 00:06:38 So you have to explain and teach them that their actions have consequences and there is a certain way that you need to try and behave in a classroom to allow everyone to be able to have the most productive environment, and that's what your teacher's trying to ensure. For me, I have found just from talking to friends and everything and from my own children, that that's the most common reason that a child may think that their teacher doesn't like them or they don't like their teacher. It's just the communication piece and really helping your child to understand what happened. And so if you're not sure, if you can't get to the bottom of it with your child or you feel that they're too young or just unable to express or willing to tell you what happened through a gentle chat, then it's no harm to talk to the teacher and just see what actually happened. Speaker 1 00:07:32 So again, you can just kind of explain that a child is not a bad child, it's just this particular behavior isn't acceptable in a particular circumstance. And just talk about the teacher's point of view and that can help to kind of rebuild that relationship and trust and remove a lot of the fear about going back into school. If your child is nervous about the social aspect in terms of their friends or they're struggling to make friends, or there's any drama going on with the little friend groups in the classroom, it can be a good idea to have smaller group play dates. This will let your child build a bit of confidence and get some self-esteem in that kind of setting. And even if it's with just one friend or two friends that they get on with very well, just to kind of reintroduce them outside of school so that they can be more confident going into school and that'll help them manage anxiety about going in. Speaker 1 00:08:29 Definitely if you have a child who is kicking off about going to school, so tummy pain every morning or tears or whatever, it's helpful to try and distract them. So especially when you're driving in or they're getting worked up or you're getting ready, maybe talk about what you're gonna do after school if you're able to bring them to the playground. And obviously if you're working and they're in a crash environment or anything like that, what you might do that night that you're gonna read a particular book or have a little treat or watch a little cartoon together and just start talking about that completely distract them. And even doing things like laying the yes no game, or who can spot <laugh> the most people with a dog or the most houses with the red door or whatever, just to try and stop them from spiraling their thoughts into a big worry. Speaker 1 00:09:20 I'm delighted to partner with one of my all time favorite products, salon Plus. This is the world's first 100% natural dry salt therapy device. It's clinically proven to relieve a wide variety of allergens and respiratory conditions. The salt therapy method has been trusted for generations and has become hugely popular worldwide. As more and more people recognize the superb results achieved from a natural and non-invasive method, this device will help you breathe easier and sleep better. The biggest thing that I have found really helpful this year is making sure that all of the uniforms are in their bedroom the night before their packed lunches are made. The night before, I always did the lunches the night before, but the uniforms were a bit more last minute. So just to make sure you're really, really organized and that you set your alarm in plenty of time. I like to be up for 15 or 20 minutes before I need to wake the kids, and that's purely so that when they come down, everything is calm and I'm trying to reduce any possible causes of stress or anxiety because children will feed off your own anxiety and <laugh>. Speaker 1 00:10:28 If you're under pressure, then your child's gonna feed off that and pick up off that, and it's just gonna cause a tense environment where meltdowns are more likely. I'd also say to praise your child a lot if they come home from school and they've had a good day, or if they get ready well in the morning, like they really do love praise and it really helps to, I suppose, teach them and show them what behavior gets rewarded because they'll just realize that that's a good thing. And sometimes we can overlook that and forget to praise the little things like them putting on their uniform without any drama or them maybe getting their own water bottle and filling it up. Just little things like that that can make the whole morning more positive. Some little skills that you can teach your kids to do and do with them. Speaker 1 00:11:19 So for times that they're really worried. So if they get worked up and you're maybe sitting either in the car outside the school or at home trying to get them into the car to go to school, just try and get them to take some deep breaths. And it's much easier to talk to a child who's actually breathing without hyperventilating and panicking. So get them to imagine taking deep breath in and then blowing out as if they're blowing out their birthday candle. Older children then can maybe breathe in for three seconds and out for three seconds with their hand on their tummy to feel that rise and fall of their tummy. And all of this can sound very simple, but it is good to give them little relaxation techniques that they can use when they're worried. This is a time of year where it is ideal to kind of reduce treats and snacks. Speaker 1 00:12:10 I know in our own house, you know, things get a lot more relaxed over the summer holidays, we could be on weekends away or visiting friends or relatives or people's houses maybe more than we normally would, and so treats can <laugh> become more of a regular occurrence, but trying to reduce those sugar highs and lows is really important. So getting them eating a healthy, balanced diet and reducing any kind of sugary processed food can really help to regulate their blood sugars. And this has a huge impact on anxiety as many adults will know from their own personal experience. Also, it's good to promote exercise if you can at all. I know they come in tired and you might just want to let them watch the telly or whatever, but a little bit of downtime, and it could be something even as simple as playing with Play-Doh or then kind of sensory if they are younger or getting them out to play a bit of football, whatever your child is interested in and joining them. Speaker 1 00:13:12 Again, this is only if at all possible, this is like pie in the sky, ideal world stuff, but joining them and playing with them at that time of day can allow them to maybe share some of how their day went. Because often you'll pick them up from school and you'll say, oh, what happened in school today? And they'll say, don't remember nothing, nothing. But if you bring them for a little walk or you do an activity with them, like playing with Play-Doh or Loom Bands or whatever it might be, you'll find that they open up a bit on their own time and that can be a good way to kind of reduce any anxiety and address any little concerns that they're having. Another nice way that can help your child to communicate with you how their school day is going is through art. Getting them to do little pictures or drawings, and you can even tell them if they're receptive to the idea to draw things that worry them, and then that gives you an opportunity to maybe chat about their concerns. Speaker 1 00:14:06 Or you might see something in the pictures that you're not necessarily are being told. So you can tell <laugh> a lot about a child's picture of a teacher if the teacher is smiling or looking very cross, but then I suppose, allows that conversation to happen about what might be going on. Do remember that if anxiety isn't kind of starting to resolve itself after a few weeks, if it's really severe and it's totally impacting their everyday life and you're not able to get to the bottom of it, it can be helpful to reach out for additional support. So if you're concerned, definitely do contact the GP if they're having any kind of physical manifestations, but a good starting point is always to talk to the school or the crash. And if you're not happy with the chat that you have with the child's teacher for whatever reason, you know, you just might not have compatible views on a particular issue, well then try and talk to someone else in the school and see if you can kind of come up with a plan that will help your child to adjust within reason. Speaker 1 00:15:11 You know, within the classroom environment, it is important for children to work through issues and to realize that maybe just because you know not everything is going their way, essentially, they're not maybe getting to sit beside the person that they want to or they're losing dojo points or whatever it is in the classroom for whatever reason. It's important for your child to develop resilience and the classroom environment is an amazing opportunity to do that. Kids know when they come home that we love them, we back them a hundred percent and we reassure them. But in a classroom environment, that's probably their first kind of experience of a bit of independence where we can't stand or sit beside them all day long and guide them through every situation. There is an element of having to figure certain things out on their own, and that's a really, really positive thing. Speaker 1 00:16:09 So try not to worry if your child is having small struggles in the early weeks of school. Often they will figure it out and they will work a way around it. And certainly talking at home is just so important, and I've kind of highlighted some ways there that you can do it, which don't involve a face-to-face direct conversation because sometimes you just will get nothing back from a child of that age. In typical kid fashion, I always hear the most when it's bedtime, as soon as you say lights out or it's time to go for bed, well that's when they want to open up and tell you all of the trauma, anything to avoid going to sleep, <laugh>. So I suppose you just have to take your window of opportunity whenever it presents. Definitely focus on the positives and encourage your child to live in the moment and to let things go and look at each day as a new challenge and a new opportunity. Speaker 1 00:17:05 Once they know that you're not dismissing their worries and that you do empathize and understand and validate their concerns and maybe guide them with little ideas of how they might manage it, they'll feel a lot less anxious and a lot more in control. I really hope that you found this helpful and I hope that all of the Wonder Care children are having a blast back at school and learning knots, and I hope that all of the Wonder Care parents are able to get some laundry done and the housework or normal work, whatever it is that you're doing, I hope that the change in routine is welcome for you after a very busy summer. I will be back next week talking all about multivitamins and whether we need them or not. And if we do, what brands are the best, I like to cut all of the nonsense outta the marketing and get directly into the neat ingredients and compare product by product because on the shelf it can be very difficult to decide what's good and what's just a waste of money. So I'll help you navigate that next week. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad to be back recording and I'll talk to you next week.